You guys may have noticed the layout change (Specifically the banner and the background). I used my original watermark, added a triangle thing on it for no purpose whatsoever, and voila. My blog looks like a raver's blog. Yikes. D:
Its actually quite interesting where this photo came from. The background is actually the base of Aracama's DJ booth.
This is the original photo. See? Interestingggg.
Ah and get this. The background is from the same picture as well.
Trippyyyyyyy
The fusion of lights and sounds is what makes my job so intoxicatingly addictive. Normally, I would be so critical with photos, judging every aspect of it from here to there. There is a lot of crab mentality in Photography. The path has always been difficult for me because of it. I went through a lot of shit to get where I am today.
1. MEDIOCRITY: The Learning Process
*Photos taken back in 2006-2007*
When I started out, a lot of so-called photographers kept commenting on how "mediocre" my photos were. I was 14 years old when I started so I didn't really give that much thought in their criticisms. My mindset back then was "If I feel like taking photos, I'll take the goddamn photos." To hell with them. Of course my photos would be mediocre. I just got that confounded contraption. I had no idea what the shutter was, eh shutter speed pa kaya? Honestly, the criticisms were asinine. They were also obvious signs of their fictitious expertise in the art. I can even remember the worst comment given to me by this self-absorbed, self-imposed "professional" (cosplay--overly edited cosplay) photographer.
*Note* There were a lot of these people in DeviantArt.
"Your background is too black and your front ground is too overly exposed. Stop trying to be a photographer because you're not"
Nahiya ako sa front ground niya. And just to clarify things, there was never a time (during those years) that I insinuated that I was a photographer, I was fourteen. I just got my slr. Hellooooooo.
I have no idea where this guy is right now but I really do hope that he improved his social skills and his photography skills. At that time, neither were at excellent.
2. JEALOUSY: The Practice
At this point, I had already known the difference between the aperture, the shutter speed, and the ISO. I also had known certain technicalities with the white balance and the flash.
I was trying to figure out how all of the above mentioned fit together to make one photo. The process was similar to studying for a Math and Science exam. How does A + B = X? No. Wait. Lemme get the equation right.
*ahem*
Given that the location is dim, and the perfect shot (X) is needed ASAP, Find the A, B, C, D, and E if A (shutterspeed) is limited to 250, B (Aperture) is f1.8 is the lowest possible setting, C (ISO) is from 100-6400, D (sync speed for the flash) is only 1/125, and E (white balance) is stuck on automatic?
A + B+ C + D + E may or may not = X
^^This makes no sense when you literally put it into reality but you get the picture.. (no pun intended)
Then you have the Science part where you figure out what angle your external flash should be so that the light bounces off properly and all that shit.
Anyway...
So here comes the Jealousy part .This was during the rise of the DSLRs. That period in time when almost everyone had one, and only a few knew what DSLR actually meant. Everyone was basicaly competing against each other as to who was the better photographer. The game was really ON back then and the cutthroat competitiveness really got to my head. For a time, I shot because I wanted to impress, not because I wanted to shoot for the hell of it. Virtual likes were more important rather than actually liking the entirety of the photo. My growth as a photographer stunted (so did my height...).
By the end of this, I grew tired of the "game" and decided to just improve on myself.
Thats when the third process came along.
3. MIMICRY: Introduction to Post Processing
*For the first photo, I used the first CS of Photoshop ever. Because, kids, photoshop was new...*
*For the second photo, I only used the idiot-proof settings of Apple's iPhoto*
I had been so inspired by many great photographers that I wanted to try and imitate their styles to figure out what my style would be. From their angles, to the replica of certain shots, and even down to the editing, I mimicked them. This was not because I wanted to plagiarize them, aww hell no. I wanted to learn from them. Since these people were just so darn famous and out of my reach, obviously, they couldn't teach me personally. Like they always say, "Mimicry is the best form of Flattery."
4. IDENTITY: Affixing the Watermark
I was at the stage when my friends knew that those photos were mine. It wasn't because they had a watermark with my name on it or anything else but because the character of the photograph was mine. Mine, mine, mine. I used to put those standard watermarks that were basically just "©Your Name"
Since my character is ingrained in my photos, why not do the same with my watermark, eh? There is no special meaning to the triangle. Thats just some shit that I devised so that I wouldn't have to worry about invisible watermarks after a few clicks from Adobe Lightroom.
There is a reason, though, why I use Kat instead of Zoe (notice that the watermark says KS and Kat Sandejas). Who I am as Zoe is different from who I am when I photograph (Kat).
*This is not a manifestation of my Manic-Depressive Disorder/Bipolar Disorder, Thank you*
We photographers find beauty in the imperfect world. Sometimes, to do so, we would have to be defenseless to everything around us. When I shoot I am vulnerable. When I'm vulnerable, I welcome everything that passes through the lens. (wow ang deep)
5. FELICITY: Personal Point of View
After the 4 processes stated above, I now conclude that I am at my happiest in this rollercoaster-ride-relationship with Photography. Felicity, by its very definition, means source of happiness. Photography is a source of happiness. It doesn't matter how bad my photos are or how weird they may look, if I love what I do and am at least contented with how it turns out, then I'm happy. I'm going back to how I saw it in the first place: "If I feel like taking photos, I'll take the goddamn photos.".
Your camera is an extension of you and will always be a part of you, whether it be your Digital Single Lens Reflex Camera (Now you know), your compact camera, or your cellphone camera. Photography isn't just about capturing a scene, nor a moment. It isn't just about Math nor Science. It isn't about bragging rights either. Photography is documenting a memory.
Photography is capturing an emotion, whether it be in front of or behind the camera.
So to all of you who think that maybe you're not fit out to be a photographer, fuck it.
Just fucking have fun.
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