16 July 2014

Not A Love Story: Uneasy


A whirlwind of feelings raptured me this morning. I woke up finding myself cold, weary and out of breath. The walls and the windows are crying. Of what was built to withstand the tests of time cries like a sick child. Definitely, this IS my house. 

My dog doesn't seem to mind the storm. She refuses let such a thing scare her. I wish it were the same for me. After numerous typhoons that have hit my city, I am still not used to the devastation that it brings. Of all the days that they've hit, not once was I with anyone. In these traumatic times, I've always been alone. 

I'm flooded by messages of "Are you okay?", "How is your family?", "Do you guys have electricity?", and the like. I reply to the ones that don't sound like "Group Messages". The rest, I ignore. There were so many things to fix in the house, replying would have wasted my time.

Despite my laziness and inability to respond in a positive manner (90% chance of replying "SHUT UP. IM BUSY"), I constantly checked my 5c in the hopes that he was worried. But how could he be though? He's a thousand miles away, and has no idea of what's happening here.

I know that I'm supposed to care about how my friends and family are. I do. I really do. Its just that I can't help but be selfish and wonder when he's ever going to message me. I know that everyone is safe and sound. But the storm still lingers in me and I'm still deathly afraid. And need I remind you that I'm alone. I just want to feel safe. Feel at home in this broken house. 

Because like today, my mind is the tempest. 

Then at the very last minute, my phone buzzes.

"Hey."

~~


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